No Facebook page means you’re a psychopath
Oh, joy. According to Forbes I’m a suspicious character because I’m not on Facebook. What happened to the idea that I’m not on Facebook because it’s the suspicious entity? I’m not the bad actor; Facebook is.
Or so I’ve always contended. But an article in Forbes suggests that individuals who aren’t on Facebook should arouse your suspicions; obviously they aren’t there because they have something to hide. Slashdot is quoted as saying “not having a Facebook account could be the first sign that you are a mass murderer” — based on the fact that two mass murderers, Anders Breivik and James Holmes, did not have accounts.
Thinking of going out with that hot new guy or gal? Better check their Facebook page. If they don’t have one, they may not be telling you the truth about who they are. They may be cheating on a spouse. Or their account might have been suspended for any one of a number of reasons, none of them reflecting well on their character.
Then there’s the employer/employee thing. These days potential employers want to see your Facebook page and may be wary if you don’t have one. (Frankly, I don’t think it’s any of their business.) Which means you have to worry about what that employer and others will think of you if you don’t have a page. Life sure has gotten complicated in this electronic age.
Fortunately the author concedes
There are people who choose not to be Facebookers for myriad non-psychopathic reasons: because they find it too addictive, or because they hold their privacy dear, or because they don’t actually want to know what their old high school buddies are up to.
Gee, thanks. While I doubt I’d find FB addictive (drugs are addictive), I do indeed hold my privacy dear and I’m decades past caring about what my old high school buddies, those few I ever cared about and who might or might not still be alive, are up to. As for keeping up with family, there are telephones, email, snail mail, and instant messaging. I get along just fine, thank you very much.
Okay, okay, I’ll admit I’ve started toying with the idea of getting a smartphone (hold the snarky comments, please) — but not for phone calls, mind you. For email, games, GPS, camera, texting, and the myriad other things they do. I’ve reached the point where the idea of being caught waiting somewhere, trying to pass the time without Internet access, makes me … anxious. Now that’s addiction.